Monthly Archives: September 2010

my future bedroom, hopefully ;)

I was looking for Job Vacancies when I saw this:

Holy, moly, guacamole.

You know? I’ve been searching for a simple design for my king size bed. and this pic has the answer for the room design even! I mean, look at my king size mattress:

my lovely king size bed

Now imagine, just imagine that mattress on that white wood, that low level, little white bed corner made of wood too, and a little chair to read before I sleep. Life is wonderful…

O, my future, lay me down in this room soon, would you?

PS: Thank you for Warisan, great job! God must love me very much if you accept my application 😉 I will definitely visit the showroom in Bali soon 🙂

Categories: crafts | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

I’ll be good. I promise.

I don’t understand.


I heard You whispered in my nights.

I saw Your words guided me, time after time.


Sometimes in a very silent and cold night, I felt Your arms around me.

Wrapped my shaking body.


But I don’t get it. Why don’t you take me with You? You know, I deserve a try, one chance to be with you.


‘Cause I hate it when the sun comes. They’re all lies, they’re all cruel. I’m loosing everyone down here.

And I can’t take it anymore.


I just don’t see the point. What’s with the truth? Where all the friends gone? What about love?



What about love?



I’m loosing my faith here, ‘cos You’re too busy to sit with me. Even for just a while.




Anyway, please let me come Home with You soon.

Please, God.

I’ll be good.


I promise.

Categories: poem, thoughts | 2 Comments

lights on…

…the sun comes out.

reasons appears.


one might gone.

others may leave.

and there’s not even a single word to describe this hell.


but I’ll stand up and still.

rise up from their reach.

I won’t give up.


I’ve learned to be still.

Categories: poem | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

‘eat, pray, love’ soon in Indonesia on october 13th!

Finally, my latest work in film will be screening here soon. I read the book in 2008, got lucky to joined the big crew in Bali, stay for a year for preparation.

Never peek out and got no clue about the movie. My cousin watched it in Netherlands, aaaahhhhh… 😀

I started to get ready for the day. best clothes, best performance, best friends to go too 🙂

I will tell you the details about this work later, stay tuned!



Categories: film, work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

in the meantime, I’ll keep it dark

My solitude light,  

I will never forget the day you were born, when I counted three and I know there was one more. I didn’t feel asleep at all, somehow I know you were coming. And there you were, coming into my life, with a simple sound you made.  

black and pink cutey...

When you came out, you pushed you sister to reach closer to your mama. I remember it was silent and one deep sound you made. Since then, you are unique. You have all of this black fur on almost your whole body, unless your inside neck, your fingers, and your feet. You were an amazing color, black and pink. That’s the day you were born. When you let me know that this is it, and I can rest my self to sleep then.  

patner in crime

Somehow you noticed her silence and deep, so you always came to her and be the soldier on the front line with her. “You throw the line, I will jump in!” you might said. For your oldest sister, you were her partner in crime.  


rebel protective princess

For your only brother, you were always coming protective, and you came rebel to anything you thought would harm him. You kept him warm, you kept him safe. Awake until he fell asleep.  


youngest, but undefeated.

Wether you were asleep or sit on your corner calmly, when your third sister came and joke around, you took every chance to have fun. And no matter what games she brought up on you, you always managed to be undefeated. “I may be the youngest, but I shall never defeated!” you may say out loud.  

the most comfy couch for everyone

Everyone laid down their head on you, at the end of everyday.  You often moved your self to sleep alone in a corner, but they still came to you, snuggling and and kept you warm. Oh, how you became the most comfy couch in the world!  

sleep pose and alert!

You had a lot of posing style in your sleeps and when you’re awake, you will stay alert.  

symptoms that made you weak

You started to walk slowly, not running anymore, and fell asleep everywhere. I wasn’t brave enough to touch you, for I want your mama smell you the same. But somehow that night, when you didn’t respond to any of my touches, I knew you have not much energy left. You just kept breathing. Your mama stay awy from you, so I reached and held you in my hands, tried to keep you warm. I kissed you so you know you’re not alone. You were very silent, only soft and weak voices came out. It broke my heart.  


The sun has rised yesterday, I realized you won’t have anymore times to stay awake with us. I sang you a song, “One day in your life, you’ll remember at last. Someone touching your face. You’ll comeback and and you’ll look around you..”  

...and will be missed so much.

So you fnally fell asleep in my hands. You didn’t even moved when my tears fell down on your face. “You’ll remember me somehow. Though you don’t need me now, I will stay in your heart…”  

It would take sometimes to move on, without you. Tonight my friends promised themselves that they won’t bail on any chances that comes into their life. That they will live fully for the chance. That I, whispered, if there’s another chance, I know I will be blessed to meet you again. I know from that moment on, I’ll let the sun rise wakes me up everyday. Fresh start. Fresh hope.  

In the meantime, I will keep it dark. So you will stay on my side every night. Falling asleep. Safe and sound.  

Goodbye, my love. You’re my solitude tonight.  


In memory of my little cat: Mpat (10 august 2010 – 1 sep 2010)  

Song: One Day in Your Life by Michael Jackson

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