I want to be a singer

I have things to do before I can really move my life on. I’m on 7 now, soon will leave. And it’s raining, out of nowhere. Suddenly the room filled with cool wind.

I heard a little sound, coming from my empty glass. Wine’s gone, ice cubes melted, made a move, made voice. I don’t even remember when I poured my self one tonight.

I want to be a singer, you know. So I will understand all of these well, and deal with it by singing. And you usually know by that little sound, you will come around and refill my glass. U know I won’t move from my spot until I finish what I’m doing, so you will bring that glass near me.

You see, mornings and afternoons are easy. Corners never really bother me to remember it, even though I still remember every single words you said. No. I can’t deny you. Sometimes I let my empty glass made ticking sounds, once in a while. I thought you will come around eventually and tell me to go to bed.

Because I’m your singer. I have always been your singer. I sing to wake you up, sing to sooth your tears, sing to celebrate your happiness, sing while I let you lay your head on my arms. All the song, all the song only we know.

Even when my face full of tears, you come around and sing for me. You said I can only have you sing for me 3 times in a lifetime. Because that’s just as many as you expected to see me cry, whatever the reason.

It’s dark now. I can feel pieces of my faith falling down to the floor. But I’m still here, not moving. Because you’re not here, with a refill wine you would bring to me, like you usually did.

I don’t want to deny you again. Under the right circumstances, what I feel for you always true. My reasons always real. And if I still have to let you go, by all means, please. I’ll sing while you walk out the door.

Ice cubes gone, melted into water. I’ve been waiting for too long. I guess tonight, I won’t have any refill.

Alright. One red wine is good enough.

Now that you’re gone, I want to be a singer, so I can still sing all those songs again. I want to be a singer, so I can complete my steps to 10, and ready to move on. Leave these all behind.

Soon.

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Categories: mess, thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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