Not much I remember about him, my Grandfather. I was little when he’s gone.
People keep telling me that I was the granddaughter he’s been waiting for, because my father is the eldest from 9 brothers and sisters. Some said, he was so proud of me, from the second I was just born. Others said that he still look after me, even now that he’s not around anymore.
There been times, I can feel him around me. Standing behind me, look after me as if he can say that I am a very stubborn girl and that is okay, if it’s for the right reason. And when I cried, and thought no one listen, in so many weird way, I know he’s just one step away from me. Watching me get over my emotions in the dark.
These corners, once discovered by my old friend, said that he’s been following me for days. ‘I don’t know who is this tall handsome man behind you, but I know he loves you very much’, as her tears fell down. From how she describe the profile, I knew that he’s him, my grandfather who loves me very much, whom I never knew very well.
Lately I heard stories about him. One of them is that he had another wife, and that’s what makes my grandmother cries all the time. My father stepped into the chaotic situation, tried to make everything right as possibly as he can, and take care all of his brothers and sisters. While my Grandfather busy with his new family.
Leaving my mom, me and my brother behind.
People also told me just how brave and gentlemen he was, how big is his love to this country, how he never give up on his faith that someday a new generation will be born and that leads us to a better day.
When he as about 4 years old, my father witnessed a moment when a Dutch soldier point his gun to my Grandpa’s head. My Grandma went histerical, but no sounds comes out from her–guess she knew this day will come–, while my father kept staring at him. ‘We’re waiting for any clue, when a Dutch soldier came running and tell the others the news, United Nation now protected Indonesia. From Dutch, Japan, and any other invaders. Now we are a new country, Independent.
And so my Grandfather were letting go.
They said, he’s always waiting for me to visit him. Although I’m more like a very silent child, he’d still wonder if my mom came without me.
Not much I remember about him, my Grandpa. Not his voice, not a single word. Nothing.
But even now he’s been around with me.
For that I know that I’m grateful to be loved by you, Grandpa.
Remembering you with smile here,