If it’s easy, and everyone can do it, I won’t even bother to do this. But it’s not easy and not everyone can do this. So here I am, swallowing my pride and hang on to my very deep personal reason in daily basis, as to why I’m still here.
The last time I resigned, I was wounded, in all over my body and heart. Took a month trip in Asia, months to ever meet with people and learn to trust again, with a hope that I can heal my wounds, by seeing once again, that this big-big world could only get better. It worked out well. I even believe to love again.
Now I know, in a way I have to face it, stay longer and choose to be the wiser ones. So I stayed for those who hang on to me, even though now they seemed to forget about me and not even remember that I existed.
But hey. If this is all about me, then it should be a poem, not a filmmaking, isn’t it?.. Even Poems is not that shallow, I believe.
So when emotions comes up and burning my head, I told my self again and again, deal with it. I made a choice and I have to deal with it. Whatever the consequences will be.
And when I lost all the reasons to stay, and it feels like hell so I’d like to just sinking in deeply, I only remember one thing: it’s a teak tree planting.
I’m planting a Teak Tree.
To be able to ever really enjoy and cherish the best results, I will have to wait for years and years. Be there in every seasons. And… wait patiently.
Give into the process.
So ask me where I’m heading, I will tell you that I have dreams and not giving up on it yet. But let’s just say that if this is the path I should took on, the road I have to walk on, terminals I must passes on, so be it.
I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere back down.
O my unborn child, how I wish you will embrace your life with passion. Because without it, nothing will ever matters anymore.
Good night, my baby. Mommy loves you. Everyday and twice on sunday.