this is my world. no matter how many times it turned me down-deep, I always want to comeback.

Why Film? – Part one.

I was planning to be a farmer, believe me. And focusing on putting strategy about how to live in that world without having to deal with snakes and worms in any kind of contact form. Not even pictures. Then I saw a farmer gets his feet down for planting Paddy Rice on TV and I knew instantly that I picked the wrong dream. But I was 12, I believe that I can be anything, a famous singer even, yeah. Bathroom singer specialist. Sounds good.

Then when I was 13, my parents decided to get divorce. It may be a trendsetter in US then and now many people see it as a daily activities slipped in the corner of every morning newspaper. But I was struggling hard to accept it. I was crashed and drowned deep. I took my self out of my friends, family, pushed my bf away -yes I had a bf at the time, a good one actually-and I believe there was some suicide attempts, maybe-now that I remember it-, were more like attempts to find out if I could feel hurt even more.

Even as a 13 year old I had too many thoughts in my head.

Things were not getting better after those event, one of the most important key-turning-points in my life. Mom was moving here and there a lot, the cat and mice drama, the messenger role that was forced on me-and the messages was all sucks-, custody, sharing my life with both of them-one week living with mom (which could be anywhere else), and another week living with dad. My life was practically packed in my backpack: books, and clean or dirty laundry-depends on whose week at the time, mom’s or dad’s.

It was a total mess. I was longing to scream out loud, but all I can find was my pillow, silently hold my tears at night, when everyone is sleeping. The only loyal friend for me was a 60 cm x 60 cm fabric sheet, I got it from mom’s sewing cabinet, a leftover fabric from one of her sewing order. Almost every night I packed up my things in the fabric, tied it up, and look around for when is the right time to go. And almost every night I changed my mind on what I should bring or what time is the best to go. But I wanted to go. Don’t know where, just go.

I never did. Because I realized I had a younger brother, who I believed sensed a lot at the time, but really just have no idea what was happened. So I decided to put some of his things in my fabric sheet, and wait a little bit longer before I can take him with me. Doesn’t matter where to.

When I was at the end of my 13, my cousins took me to a cinema. I believe we were running away from a big family event. And the first movie I watched was Candy Man.


Candyman, 1992

Candyman is a 1992 American horror film starring Virginia Madsen, Tony Todd and Xander Berkeley. It was directed by Bernard Rose and is based on the short story “The Forbidden” by Clive Barker, though the film’s scenario is switched from England to the Cabrini–Green public housing development on Chicago’s Near North Side. The plot follows a graduate student completing a thesis on urban legends who encounters the legend of “Candyman”, an artist and son of a slave who was murdered and his hand replaced with a hook. (

I never watched any horror movies on big screen anymore until now.

But I started to watched more movies, such as Jurrasic Park, Mrs. Doubtfire, Speed, Baby Day’s Out, The Lion King, even True Lies, the one that wasn’t passed the censorship at the time. Wait, where did I watched True Lies? Definitely not in the theatre.

I kept coming back, with or without my cousins. I would be the first person to get inside the theatre. My routine was simple. I get in, put my backpack under my feet, sit down, and wait. Wait until they turned down the light. Until all I can see is that big screen, where I get to see things that I’ve never seen. People who talks in different language and seemed to have a very dramatic life.

I got busy catching up with the Indonesian subtitles, and running my eyes to every corner of the frame, trying to understand, what are they doing. And when I do, I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go home or back, anymore. I just want to stay. In that deep darkness, silently surrender with what the big screen offered.

I sometimes fell asleep too, the trip from our home to the cinema was 2 hours-more or less-. And until now, I believe the best nap I ever had was one of those naps I had inside the theatre.

My busy mind stopped running for a while, well, in approximately 90 minutes-give or take-, that room and everything inside it decided for me on what I will think of. My endless sadness, painful shame, well-constructed blame and lonely feelings transformed into curiosities. And there was no going back, but just move ahead, follow their lead. Follow the Hero and her/his journey. And those big screens, how can you ever able to runaway from it? I rest my head on the comfortable seat, and life happens. What happens outside the theatre was not important anymore, whatever people say or judge or any worries were no longer reside inside my head or big imaginary bubble I setup to protect myself.

For a while, in that (approximately) 2 hours running time, I’m gladly-happily-let my self lost in that world. And never once disappointed, because everything will be okay in the end.

Everything will always be okay in the end. All you need to do is just get through it.

Oh, well. What a hollywood-brat I was.

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Olympus has fallen, me not.

When the White House (Secret Service Code: “Olympus”) is captured by a terrorist mastermind and the President is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped within the building. As our national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning’s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger crisis. Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) directs an all-star cast featuring Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd and Rick Yune.

ImageIn a tradition where one hero will save all, and it means: all, the movie offers nothing new. And when you’re familiar with the pattern, a simple low note with the music scoring tells you that the Villain gets in from the front door. Don’t even go to the perfect-perfect composition the shots offered when the grand scene arrives, when the Korean guys gets inside the White House complex. And the scanner at the front door scanned the bones of fast moving subjects, identified the people sophisticatedly, tells us that all is well. All is well. And we simply know by then, all is actually, not well. And so the camera gets in closer to Kang. That’s when we know, err, that’s when I know, he is the Villain. Otherwise, why the camera bother track into him?..


Rick Yune as Kang, the Terrorist Mastermind.

Nothing is too hard to discovered in the beginning of the movie. Not even the strange dialogue about doors and secret tunnels between Mike Banning the Presidential Guard and Connor the President’s son, who off course, that time in the beginning stays with the presidential guard’s car, with Mike. While Diaz, the other Presidential Guard, drove the President and First Lady, humbly smiles over simple scene when they exchanged christmas gift in the car. Mike will stay alive, so does Connor, we know that now. Something must happens to invest motive and reason, for the Hero to stay on the next 90 minutes, looking heroic. So when the car went down but we got the President safe, we knew that.

The attacks gone organically, we never really know what’s going on outside, but in the inside, all the west and east mixed beautifully weird. We don’t see too many shots inside, but for just a couple minutes, but more of the series of graphic brutality, that I never expected from such film studio, Hollywood, I may able to add. Well, except when Tarantino’s in the house. The choreography of killing widened from just pull the trigger as any other american movies, into using knife-very well might I add-, and some -I think- more than 20 neck snaps.

What I like most is the fight choreography between Banning and Forbes. I don’t remember why, but I like it a lot. Please forgive me. I will update when I remember why 🙂

The scene with the Secretary is also good, I think. Words put nicely, good enough for action junkies like me, he he. I remember one of her words to the President, “We may meet our God today, but I would never let my headstone written: died without a fight”. She told him that, after being kicked, dragged here and there by Kang, the baby-face terrorist.


The surprise scene, for me. She survived! ^_^

And the most cute scene, which I think only Gerard Butler can do it, is when he told Connor about his duty.


So put this badge on you here, and I’m counting on you, okay?…

So someday I, or now you can tell one more story for your children before they go to bed, that one day, a president got locked up in the white house, the safest building in the whole world. He locked up with the enemy, who used him, once again, as a bait for a simple answer about moral responsibility of a country.

Because people like the police and the army responded very late and the chain of highly skill terrorist now getting even better and more, and more unbeatable (so it seems), a man who brave enough to face the challenge shall come in handy. In this case, someone who knows very well how to face it, how to get through it, someone once believe, that he failed his own responsibility.

But everybody said, that the world is actually consists of 3 things: to try, to fix, and to try again, one more time.

A chance appears, one man raised to it, white house may not be white anymore at the time, but the nation will still rise.

Well, I think it’s a pretty good story to tell, with or without Gerard Butler in it. Just makes sure there will still be Morgan Freeman 😉

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the dark knight rises. a brilliant piece from crazy nolan.

Have you ever watch a movie and you regret the fact that you kept your maner well, and you don’t jump off the seat? Have you ever watch a movie, once it’s end, you don’t want it to end?

I watched Nolan’s movie, first time, Memento. His visual storytelling, crafty editing, crazy plot and amazing way of directing amazed me since then. He reminded me once, that even though we seek for a simple things in life, mostly they don’t come that way. and it’s really okay, as long as you keep tattooed the important messages on your body 😛

Nolan, like Einstein, should have their brain studied. For the ability to move me that way, ah! I stood up, clapping my hands and shouting, ‘Nolan you’re crazy! You’re crazy!!!’ And then I realized people starting to do the same. Because he is, crazy.

I love the combination of casts, the smooth yet crafty works in editing, the marvelous job with the dialogues, man that was really cool! I love just how he made me forget about everything once the movie starts.

Nolan, nolan, nolan.

You’re cool.

You’re crazy.

And I’m proud to witness your signature in directing.


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Tåber På Eventyr – Fools in Wonderland

Forgot all about the Tour de Fis. Here we’re talking mandetur of a whole new dimension!

The intrepid boy rob the Michael Mühlebach Christiansen and Karsten Green, indeed agreed to travel to all sorts of tribal society, and try out the local manhood try on your own body.

We are very far from the Copenhagen metropolitan jungle, and we can guarantee that the two friends come to see their manhood in the eyes!

*Episode 1: Bitten by poisonous ants 300

You become a real man to be bitten by 300 jungle ants that are woven into a pair of gloves to break on the Mongolian plains or by allowing dilleren be pushed into the scrotum?…

Premiere on TV2 Zulu, April 9th 2012, 2130 — don’t miss it! 😉

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Indonesian National Film Day 2012

For those directors too selfish to touch spectators,

writers do plagiats,

producers enabling no-budget film – buy creativity in no value,

filmmakers do corruptions and act like angels,

production houses blinded by politics and never care for art,

actors too narciss to care for dedications,

unbelievably super ego-maniac festival organizers,

seniors with their bullying methods,

juniors with their persistences on keeping it continue,

government people who does absolutely nothing – except for money,

theatres too stupid to even understand their own products,

for these people, I say, congratulations. It’s a National Film Day 2012.

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