Posts Tagged With: cat

in the meantime, I’ll keep it dark

My solitude light,  

I will never forget the day you were born, when I counted three and I know there was one more. I didn’t feel asleep at all, somehow I know you were coming. And there you were, coming into my life, with a simple sound you made.  

black and pink cutey...

When you came out, you pushed you sister to reach closer to your mama. I remember it was silent and one deep sound you made. Since then, you are unique. You have all of this black fur on almost your whole body, unless your inside neck, your fingers, and your feet. You were an amazing color, black and pink. That’s the day you were born. When you let me know that this is it, and I can rest my self to sleep then.  

patner in crime

Somehow you noticed her silence and deep, so you always came to her and be the soldier on the front line with her. “You throw the line, I will jump in!” you might said. For your oldest sister, you were her partner in crime.  


rebel protective princess

For your only brother, you were always coming protective, and you came rebel to anything you thought would harm him. You kept him warm, you kept him safe. Awake until he fell asleep.  


youngest, but undefeated.

Wether you were asleep or sit on your corner calmly, when your third sister came and joke around, you took every chance to have fun. And no matter what games she brought up on you, you always managed to be undefeated. “I may be the youngest, but I shall never defeated!” you may say out loud.  

the most comfy couch for everyone

Everyone laid down their head on you, at the end of everyday.  You often moved your self to sleep alone in a corner, but they still came to you, snuggling and and kept you warm. Oh, how you became the most comfy couch in the world!  

sleep pose and alert!

You had a lot of posing style in your sleeps and when you’re awake, you will stay alert.  

symptoms that made you weak

You started to walk slowly, not running anymore, and fell asleep everywhere. I wasn’t brave enough to touch you, for I want your mama smell you the same. But somehow that night, when you didn’t respond to any of my touches, I knew you have not much energy left. You just kept breathing. Your mama stay awy from you, so I reached and held you in my hands, tried to keep you warm. I kissed you so you know you’re not alone. You were very silent, only soft and weak voices came out. It broke my heart.  


The sun has rised yesterday, I realized you won’t have anymore times to stay awake with us. I sang you a song, “One day in your life, you’ll remember at last. Someone touching your face. You’ll comeback and and you’ll look around you..”  

...and will be missed so much.

So you fnally fell asleep in my hands. You didn’t even moved when my tears fell down on your face. “You’ll remember me somehow. Though you don’t need me now, I will stay in your heart…”  

It would take sometimes to move on, without you. Tonight my friends promised themselves that they won’t bail on any chances that comes into their life. That they will live fully for the chance. That I, whispered, if there’s another chance, I know I will be blessed to meet you again. I know from that moment on, I’ll let the sun rise wakes me up everyday. Fresh start. Fresh hope.  

In the meantime, I will keep it dark. So you will stay on my side every night. Falling asleep. Safe and sound.  

Goodbye, my love. You’re my solitude tonight.  


In memory of my little cat: Mpat (10 august 2010 – 1 sep 2010)  

Song: One Day in Your Life by Michael Jackson

Categories: cats | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

losing 999 of my 1.000 hopes

I hope it was just a dream. A black hole in my own kitchen and always, feeling lonely in the crowd. Fine. It’s a classic dream of mine lately. But when I found my self crying softly, silently, I knew he’s gone. and it hurts.

I never expected to love him this far. I never planned to care and love him deeply, wondering what he’s doing everytime, every second I realized he’s not near me. I’m not always following his sense for a while when he’s jumping to hug me and simply put his head on my lap out of nowhere. Everytime was just a regular times I’d spend with anyone. So I wonder why should I feel like I’m losing him this deep.

He never has any exact time to be any kinds of mood. He’s sort of random when it goes to what he wanted to do. Just one for sure, is that he always got curious with everybody’s steps and always take position to be ready to jump and hug people’s feet. And yeah, he can tell the difference, whose feet were there.

Not once he talks, or whisper, everything was always managed by his own skill to understand what happened inside the house, what happened with the people, so he used to  just wait and be patient, until it’s time for us to finally took care of his needs. somehow we managed okay.

With his own way, he gave reasons for my mom to start to build her marriage life with her husband, once again. And it was the biggest surprise I ever acknowledged given from him, that from that moment on, he became a member of this mess family. A member worked hard to put a smile on everyone’s face, no matter how the days been for each of us,  even by causing mess in the house.

Somehow at one point, I think he’s a human being, trapped in a body of a cute-weird-hyperactive cat. Because I know, somehow, cat shouldn’t acted like the way he acted. So, in my mind set, he’s a human being trapped in a body of a cute-weird-hyperactive cat. Period.

Tell me I’m crazy, but I love him deep. Feel like I’m losing 999 of my 1.000 hopes when he was gone. Losing my only reason to come home. His short illness hasn’t bother anyone yet, and yet he was gone, in a corner he loved so much, when he used to hide from other stupid cats outside and fell asleep there when it rains, when it was time to sleep.

And I always believed he was sleeping, finally rest assure his hyperactive moves and lay down all of his curiousity.

Yes. He was just a cat. And it hasn’t stop my tears falling down since then. because he’s just a cat. My cute-weird-hyperactive cat. So long, babe. I will miss you, very much.

Categories: cats, thoughts | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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