Posts Tagged With: love

Tell Him

I’m scared, so afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak if I tremble when I speak?
Ooh, what if there’s another one he’s thinking of?
Maybe he’s in love, I’d feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel, I don’t know what to do

I’ve been there with my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can’t let the chance to love him pass you by

Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper tender words so soft and sweet
I’ll hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him with the gentleness you feel inside, I feel it
Your love can’t be denied, the truth will set you free
You’ll have what’s meant to be, all in time you’ll see

Ooh, I love him, then show him
Of that much I can be sure, hold him close to you
I don’t think I could endure if I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It’s a steady flame that grows

Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love where it has to go

Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper, whisper words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Ooh, never let him go














Songwriters: Afanasieff, Walter; Foster, David; Thompson, Linda D

Categories: music and song | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Thankful for Gilmore Girls

Hola, Junkie!

Here’s the world you may enter once in your lifetime and should never regret of having a chance knowing each of marvelous way of life these mom-daughter has. Created by Amy-Sherman Palladino, Gilmore Girls stand for 7 (seven) seasons, closed the long journey with a simple traditional scene everyone lives out-of-town would love.

I love a lot of TV serials. Hell, I’m sleeping and wake up every day by the sound of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey. I mean, how can I, or anyone resist them? Struggling to settling down for life in a big crowded town, having your friends as your only family, ups and down in jobs and oh, romance life that seemed never really ends, that’s why I love them. And when someone gets so ‘drama’, I’ll say ‘I’m not good at giving advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?’–just like Chandler always do. For those things people might not think I’d identified my self with them, I do. I always do.

Gilmore Girls are way more than that. In a tradition of having a wedlock (even as beautiful as a ‘Rory Gilmore’), seriously, here, there’s no such thing. But the way Lorelai raised Rory, among her dominant parents, a whole small town culture where one can be so talented (like miss Patty) and another can be so comical (like Kirk), coffee serve everyday inside a diner by someone wearing a hat backwards (like Luke)–and oh so handsome, a homey inn the city has, unbelievable unique events ever held, where love and hate blended in, Lorelai sure know how to enrich her little girl’s life experiences (no matter what Paris says about it).

In my 30 years of life, I met most of Gilmore Girls characters. I connected with them, share secrets, work together, spread ‘good morning’ even when I know I’ll have a bad day.

Dean. I met a Dean. My nice guy from my neighbourhood, long arms, tall, dark hair, eyes you can’t runaway from once they stared at you. A solid young guy for his age, and my ‘autism’ at the time fascinated him. My absence to what happened outside of me somehow amazed him and moved his feet to know me better. He made no fun of your intelligence, cover your weaknesses, the guard to your every troubled soul, introduced the world of who you are: his proud love, even when you thought you don’t deserve that kind of love. He was a golden boy, a perfect one for a picture of husband and father. With him, you can never fail, you always be the right thing he ever had for his life. Maybe that’s why, that even he is married now, he still hold on to you in a way.

'You don't want to fight me, Tristan. 'Cos I'll kill you, idiot! Stay away from her!' -- Dean

Jess. Another young guy from the neighbourhood who you always believe is a good guy, but somehow failed the society. In my life, my Jess has been in love with me since I was 11 and up ’til now. Maybe this one is crazier than Rory’s Jess, I don’t know. He raised in a good family, but felt neglected by his mother and so he acted like a rebel around society. From what it seems from outside, he never even deserve any of my attention, that’s what the society said. He made calls to share what he thoughts, even when we’re far apart. He showed his love in a simple gentle way by actions, well he’s not too good in words anyway. I can imagine World War III will declare as soon as he tried to get into my family. He’s not that guy any parents hoping their daughter will share life with. But there’s always this bubble, kind of magic bubble around him, when he gets near me. That in a second, he read what I read, listened to every songs I dance on all night, he pushed limitations I had and open his arms widely, ready to provide me a big wide shoulder to cry on. All we need is just the two of us, alone. And we can work the world out together. The way he look at you, you know that no matter what happens in your life later, you will always love him, unconditionally.

‘Rory, you never leave your school even once. Tell me, why you came to find me?’–Jess

Logan. I never forget the scene where Rory and Logan jumped off high places with only an umbrella. For me, Logan has always been that kind of guy. ‘Seize the day’ guy, whom for the right reasons will do every changes as needed. He’s the unknown spirit you always have, and he’s the one who discovered it. A bright, young, promising talent, you know however crazy the world will be, you’ll end up feeling happiness with him. He has this rare ability to find your hidden talents and always a perfect mate to stand with, in every kind of occassions. But when he kneel down and asked you to marry him, you know you just can’t. You know you have so many to offer to the world, as a lot can be still offered by the world for you too,  as he was the one to help you acknowledge that. For being the one who introduced you to the big-big world, you open your arms to any of his ‘hello’ anytime he needed you. Yeah, I’m glad I get to know a Logan in my life.

'We're gonna be great together, Ace..'--Logan

Chris. I met my Chris when I’m over 24. All you should do is just take a look at him, just one single look and you know, you got your self into a very big trouble. This is a no-perfect-man you don’t want to meet in your life, unless you’re ready. He is charming, your partner-in-in crime when you were too young to know everything. He laugh at your way of laughing your crazy and mess world, hold your tears in deeply and ride a big motorcycle, you promised your self won’t get on to because you know you won’t able to get your self off later. He has perfect hair, a good kisser, and more importantly, he knows your timing very well. You can never be misunderstood by him. Everything you have in your life unresolved, he fixed them. Simply, he is undeniable. He worked his butt off to be able to provide your needs, and when he does, he said he love you and willing to spend the rest of his life with you. As for those big gestures he showed, he sometimes can’t handle the big love he has  for you and forget a simple way to maintain it. He gets emotional, left and back again trying to prove you that you can rely on him, no matter what. But he never really there at the most time you needed him. When he finally said that he loved you-for real, you can hear yourself saying, ‘Oh my God, he’s going to leave me again’. As comfort as you can find laying your head on his shoulder, you know the timing for you and him always suck. Therefore, he has to move on. You have to move on.

'Oh, Christopher...'--Lorelai

Luke. I met this guy this year. A simple local guy, doing his routine and never able to speak on his feeling very well. He gets emotional for little things that bother him, because he never bother any other’s life. He lives in a solitude way, working in a diner once his father gave to him and live o the second floor, wondering if he has any chance for love. He’s a true man, in a way. The only reason why he can never get through love is that he has a comfort life already. Would take a strong ‘Luke’ to make it happen for real. People can be harsh on him in so many ways, but when one need a help, he will lend a hand in a second. His love language is ‘acts of service’–that’s why in my life, my Luke didn’t work so well because I knew him by internet. I’m grateful to know him by the way. I know when my internet is on, someone will stare at me and say ‘good morning, messy’.


Richard and Emily. Until I was 22, these figures were my real birth parents. The real Richard and Emily was amazed me everytime they delivered lines. Never once words came up and gone in second. They stuck in my brain for a while, knowing that everyone of us might have to deal with this kind of pairs in their lives. Come 4 years lately, these characters gone away from both of my birth parents. As for change, some of my friends turned into them. Those kinds I trusted my secrets to, those gals and pals I shared my tears with, showed my glittering eyes when I told them about my dreams in life. Like Richard and Emily, they used those informations to have a wide zone and say ‘I know you and you’re a mess’. As for that moment on, they decided what’s best for me, mostly just to show their power onto me and no solutions in whatsoever when I needed them. They took power on me and seize the chance to drive my life, write or talk about it, as if they’re ones who knows best. This last year, I left them for a while, and make up my life alone–no matter how messy it was. Still, some of them  came up. Last night, when I talked them I realized that we’re not on the same page anymore. It’s like they live in this ‘I know you and you’re a mess’ age, and I live in somewhere, thousand miles away from the wide zone they put me in captive, with new friends! Richard and Emily’s intentions are always good, and they’re parents. But my friends? I don’t know. I’m just glad I met them, share and learned about them, so now I can get this over with.

Richard and Emily Gilmore

I also met a Sookie once, but then I had to end it because apprently the one I met wasn’t Sookie enough. I often met Michel too, you know, around and about and clearly, not as close as Lorelai and Michel relationship. Until 2001, I met a Paris once, she is a mom with a daughter now. Yup, she is irresistible for her cute inability to let go sometimes. Always stucked me with her, because of her wickedly funny way of getting to her life goals (she even has a Life Coach!), driven and truly actually is a best friend.

I wish to meet a Lane someday. Maybe a Sookie too. I can imagine spend my days cooking Sookie’s recipees while dance through Lane’s CD choices. These two are super cool gals! 😀

‘I miss you, Rory…’–Lane
‘I’m not hurt, I’m okay. It was just a minor accident. I’m okay!…’–Sookie

I’m not in a big crowd anymore and I think I’m going to keep it that way.  Because this little group is more than enough. I promised to get back and hang out everytime the chance appears, as for them are nice friends to grow up with.

So I’m thankful for Gilmore Girls, for moments they presents in those 7 seasons I never get enough with. If I ever a Lorelai Gilmore, I’ll be thankful for a Rory and a life that appears once she was born. And since I’m not, I’m grateful for Gilmore Girls! Go crazy, Junkie! 😀

Thankful for Gilmore Girls, they made me feel good 😉

Categories: film, mess, people, thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I want to be a singer

I have things to do before I can really move my life on. I’m on 7 now, soon will leave. And it’s raining, out of nowhere. Suddenly the room filled with cool wind.

I heard a little sound, coming from my empty glass. Wine’s gone, ice cubes melted, made a move, made voice. I don’t even remember when I poured my self one tonight.

I want to be a singer, you know. So I will understand all of these well, and deal with it by singing. And you usually know by that little sound, you will come around and refill my glass. U know I won’t move from my spot until I finish what I’m doing, so you will bring that glass near me.

You see, mornings and afternoons are easy. Corners never really bother me to remember it, even though I still remember every single words you said. No. I can’t deny you. Sometimes I let my empty glass made ticking sounds, once in a while. I thought you will come around eventually and tell me to go to bed.

Because I’m your singer. I have always been your singer. I sing to wake you up, sing to sooth your tears, sing to celebrate your happiness, sing while I let you lay your head on my arms. All the song, all the song only we know.

Even when my face full of tears, you come around and sing for me. You said I can only have you sing for me 3 times in a lifetime. Because that’s just as many as you expected to see me cry, whatever the reason.

It’s dark now. I can feel pieces of my faith falling down to the floor. But I’m still here, not moving. Because you’re not here, with a refill wine you would bring to me, like you usually did.

I don’t want to deny you again. Under the right circumstances, what I feel for you always true. My reasons always real. And if I still have to let you go, by all means, please. I’ll sing while you walk out the door.

Ice cubes gone, melted into water. I’ve been waiting for too long. I guess tonight, I won’t have any refill.

Alright. One red wine is good enough.

Now that you’re gone, I want to be a singer, so I can still sing all those songs again. I want to be a singer, so I can complete my steps to 10, and ready to move on. Leave these all behind.


Categories: mess, thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘eat, pray, love’ soon in Indonesia on october 13th!

Finally, my latest work in film will be screening here soon. I read the book in 2008, got lucky to joined the big crew in Bali, stay for a year for preparation.

Never peek out and got no clue about the movie. My cousin watched it in Netherlands, aaaahhhhh… 😀

I started to get ready for the day. best clothes, best performance, best friends to go too 🙂

I will tell you the details about this work later, stay tuned!



Categories: film, work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I know him by heart

There’s a secret path I follow
To a place no one can find
Where I meet my perfect someone
I’ve kept hidden in my mind
Where my heart makes my decisions
‘Till my dream becomes a vision
And the love I feel
Makes him real someday

‘Cause I know he’s out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I’ve never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we’ve never been together
We’ve never been apart
No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart

Am I living in an illusion?
Wanting something I can’t see
If I compromise, I’d be living lies
Pretending love’s not meant to be
‘Cause I know my heart’s worth saving
And I know that he’ll be waiting
So I’ll hold on and I’ll stay strong ’till then

‘Cause I know he’s out there somewhere
Just beyond my reach
Though I’ve never really touched him
Or ever heard him speak
Though we’ve never been together
We’ve never been apart

No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart
No we’ve never met
Haven’t found him yet
But I know him by heart

Categories: music and song | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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