“Has the time comes yet for us?”
I said no. Not yet.
My friend looked disappointed. She asked, “Why not?”
Because we are not ready, I said.
She looked at me once again, hoping there will be another words from me.
I opened my book and started to read it.
It was a very nice sunday, at least for both of us, it feels like sunday. We sit in a very cozy corner, a cup of cappucino and another slice of cheesecake for my dear friend. Some Fashion magazines on the side and another Paulo’s new book I brought that afternoon. Everything was simpler than it became later on that day. We were planning to spend sometime together and keep up with new piracy DVDs in town. We were planning to get ourselves some good food and good view, in a place we only knew. Then she asked the question. And I can’t lie no more. Not to her face.
We both are Film Freelancer. We studied in Film School, got bachelor degree 2 years ago, and now facing the real life, real world-that nobody ever gave any heads up abut how mess it is when we’re student (that’s my friend always said-me myself has been warned, so I’m more prepared than her-yeah, right). Most of the times, things hasn’t happened exactly like the way we expected them to be. So we kind of got surprised and wonder if there’s anything we can do to make everything’s right.
I mean, to be honest, the industry is a mess, regeneration process never keep it’s persistence, and teachers simply not tried their best to teach. In some level, we believe, students, teachers, professionals and industry it self, gave up. So now, there are some people who, either has the power, the money, the talent, the lucky, or has all that, rise up and take control of this premature national film industry. Don’t get me wrong, some good results comes up, most of people now even believe that the industry, once again, rise up high.
But I keep moving on, I did my jobs, swore to never get back to film producing anymore-ever, and then got another job in film works and again, get it done. While my dear friend, let her mind took control and lost perspective, she didn’t take any film jobs, yet working on any jobs for that matter. Until one day she asked how to be happy for what she chose to live with.
Once again, I told her, that she’s not ready.
She got confused and asked for an explanation.
See. When you want to be a Producer who Produce a good film and make bucks from it, first you have to see a ladder in front of you. Then, make the first step. You can look up or look down, but you will find your self not alone. There’s a lot of people around you, working on the same high ladder to go to the same place up high. You may start kicking your rivals, cause damages to their ladders, -anything to make this journey is all bout you only-, or you can just keep focusing on finishing your homework and exercise your body to be a stronger climber.
Either way, we call it a process.
My dear friend listened patiently. Gosh, I shouldn’t talk the wrong things to her now. She’ll gone crazy in second.
As we know, it takes time. And we never know if we will make it or not and I think, it wouldn’t matter anymore. Because when you call the process, you will begin constructing your self to be a better person everyday. A better film crew, everyday. And when that’s what happens in your life for real-constructing your self to be a better person everyday by doing the job you love-you won’t have times to comment on others. No matter how lucky they are to never have to climb the ladder you climb to be a Film Producer, to be a person you’ve been dying to be since the first movie you watched.
I know it bothers you my dear, I said. And it’s okay. It hurts to know someone has everything we’ve been trying to get since we know how to live our life fully. And it’s really okay. I know, every single smile you showed was really tears of realizing that where they’re there, you’re not even close yet. It’s okay. It’s really-really okay.
So take your time, to see, to listen, to judge, to cry, to blame, to run, to ever sorry for who you are, to ever mad at your imperfection.
Then move on. Because Life goes on. Any dreams shouldn’t die before it comes true. And for that, my friend, I’ll team you up to fight this. To be where we’re supposed to be. You can put me as your front line soldier, or hide me somewhere we only know, to create strategies to win this war. Nobody will find me, nobody will able to touch you, and even if we have to leave wounds, we will win it. Someday soon.
In the meantime, let’s do our homeworks. And eat good food once in a while. Learn more and more. Everyday. Everyday. This is who we are, this is what we love to do, and this is our life. Nobody should drive this car. Let’s rise to it, no matter what. Let’s rise to it.
We both know I might talked bullshit. But we were smiling. Laughed at our own silliness. Then we ate our good food. And those were real good food. That’s what matters most to be a Film Producer: To enjoy your good food. That’s what matters most.